The Challenge of Forgiveness

The Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 2, verse 50, states: The wise man lets go of all results whether good or bad, and is focused on the action alone. Yoga is skill in action.

I practice yoga and I teach yoga. I try to live yoga in the reality of a 2011 society and today I wanted to choke the living you-know-what out of my boss.

“I was done wrong” I kept saying to myself on the drive home. I decided to take a long route back after grabbing a soul settling cup of hot tea to reflect on what had just happened at work, I was accused in front of my peers of a triviality that did not reflect the necessity of the big picture. In fact, if let alone, would not have mattered to anyone at all.

William Blake once wrote a letter to the gentleman who had commissioned four watercolours from him, but deplored the result. ‘…that What is Grand is necessarily obscure to Weak Men that which can be made Explicit to the Idiot is not worth my care.’ I couldn’t agree more. I’m not at work 60 hours a week, with pay for 40, for the pleasure of verbal abuse or the small size of a paycheque. I’m there because I choose to be. Plain and simple. I like it. I was given the position I carry because of my expertise and skills, not because I enjoy knee chopping verbal abuse from both ends of the totem pole. So where does forgiveness come into play here? I’ll explain.

The practices of yoga are guided by many ancient scriptures of which the Bhagavad Gita and the Yoga Sutras are highlighted. A sort of “read these books the most for the best results” club. I did. The question of why they keep calling yoga a practice remains slightly forward in the back of my mind. Yoga, and the practices of, contain Eight Limbs, two of which have practical relevance to living a balanced and harmonious life if adopted. The Yamas and Niyamas each have their own subsections breaking down the art of living in the 20th century to Restraint or Conduct to Avoid and Observance. Today I observed the restraint I had to have to keep me from choking the you-know-what out of my boss. There. I feel better. I think. To be honest, that was the key; observance. When the situation was full on, I observed many emotions like anger and sadness, while defence mechanisms rose to epic proportions. I almost called Stephen Harper knowing he could buy me a weapon of “boss destruction” and it would come out of my taxes. I tried verbally to defend what I thought was right, but ego and power position prevailed. I’m only a minion in a managerial role. And yes, I do have a business card that states that. I don’t live the card, but I do live who I know I am after all these years.

Pouring over Observance and Restraint I laugh at all the possibilities, Ahimsa, to avoid all forms of violence or injury to self or others. I only had a glass of wine with dinner, it’s Friday night and I still want to choke my boss. Observance seems to encapsulate more of what happened today so Santosha, the practice of Contentment with oneself seems more appropriate. If I have any more wine I’ll be content with just choking and not include verbal abuse. I’m learning you see. Saucha the practice of Purity of Thought worked for a while and combined with several methods of torturing my boss would take me to Tapas, the practice of disciplines with understanding of self-development. As a manager can I then suggest to one of my employees that they choke my boss and not verbally abuse him?

You see what we want to. If we choose to keep the driving force inside us, the bitterness for revenge will only eat us up, stress us out and not teach us anything that will help us move forward as a human being with a spiritual mind. With no apology from my boss I choose to forgive. I am the wiser.

Just a little choke?

Learn to forgive and forget.

Love, CY

The Boots

Above is a picture of my new cowboy boots and I must say they are exquisite.

When my daughter Sarah was young I bought my first pair on a whim from Aldo in the Toronto Eaton Centre.  I loved them so much that when the soles wore out I had them re-soled, then wore them till they burst.  I wanted a new pair ever since.

As life moved in different directions, I forgot about the feelings of owning them and what they meant to me.  Important or not, I was certainly not hung up on the ego ownership of them.  I liked the fit and how they felt on my feet as I walked.

I’ve always considered myself to be “a little bit cowboy”.  As a youngster had a cowboy hat with a whistle attached and a holster.  I remember holding the fake gun up and looking at the two halves of plastic that never completely met properly.  It didn’t matter, I played the games anyway.  I’m not sure if I ever asked for boots, but feel my subconscious knew what was missing to complete the package, aside from the horse.

Adding to this I like the outdoors, dirt and farming.  (One day soon will take a horseback vacation with my girls in western Canada.)  It all makes sense.  It’s no secret either the boys from Blue Rodeo are my kind of music and whatever other country music, including Taylor Swift, touches my soul.  I feel my connection to the earth when I hear their tunes.

Cowboy shirts just secure the fact.  (I do have great taste in good cowboy shirts too.)  Does it make sense to say, if you wear something you like and it looks good on while making you feel comfortable, it’s probably made for you and you should be wearing it?  Wearing a cowboy shirt for me completes a right of passage.  Back then the air was pure and food was good.  Much was hard to come by.  Life was so much different.  I’m sure I was a cowboy in a past life.

Presently, I’m bridging my present connection to the past by wearing my boots.  The smell of quality leather grounds me in the here and now.  While wearing them I feel connected to a part of me that understands my decision to own a pair.  I can almost feel my boots in the stirrups while riding my horse and surveying the rolling hills before me as the land stretches as far to the horizon as the eye can see.  People worked hard for that land.  They fought and died for it.

My boots are also significant because of the time I waited patiently for them.  A story for another time perhaps, but I waited over 20 years for my new pair never forgetting how much I wanted a new pair to love.  The lessons from this are bigger than life itself, as you can imagine.  I would be happy to share them with you while wearing my new cowboy boots. Yeehaw! ~CY

HUGS

“Are there hugs like that out there in the real world?” I was asked one morning by my friend Erica. “They’re rare.” I replied. I hugged two more people just to be sure.

Many people hug and many people embrace. When guys hug they lean into each other careful not to let any other body part touch and pat each other on the back several times before quickly letting go. There’s so much room between them a small child could ride a bicycle through. I swear some of them then turn around afterwards to see if anyone saw them. When women hug they warmly embrace and even take a moment to pause further and before letting go either hold onto the waist or the arms of the other person and smile while complimenting them on their hair. They even touch the hair knowing that they’re not invading any personal space. They also don’t look around like the guys do. Why the differences in hugs I wonder?

We ALL love touch and benefit from it therapeutically. By touching someone we care, and have regard for, we convey love and compassion. By doing so, we ourselves let down our guard and become open and vulnerable. This is a valuable lesson for ourselves in this world. We all want to be loved, accepted and understood. A sincere hug has the ability to convey that.

Many of you may have already heard of Amma, “The “Hugging Saint” who travels the world hugging and embracing millions of people. To-date her efforts have significantly impacted millions of lives and continue to do so. Not only through hugs, but through financial aid as well. I encourage you to visit her website www.amma.org.

Once a press reporter asked Amma how was it possible for her to embrace each and every one in the same loving way, even if they were diseased or unpleasant. Amma replied, “When a bee hovers over a garden of varied flowers, what it beholds is not the difference between the flowers but the honey within them. Similarly Amma sees the same Supreme Self in each and every one.”

As Dr. Jane Goodall, while presenting Amma with the 2002 Gandhi-King Award for Non-violence said “She stands here in front of us. God’s love in a human body.” For the past 35 years Amma has dedicated her life to the uplifting of suffering humanity through the simplest of gestures – an embrace. In this intimate manner Amma had blessed and consoled more than 25 million people throughout the world.

Ask yourself this, “Would I or someone else give me a hug ever so lovingly?” You know, the kind of hug that “boosts” your energy, because the hug was really meant to be a hug. And what a word. Three insignificant letters when put together make a verb, and when put into action, can change the world. Think of what you feel when you hug, and what you exchange when you hug. The texture of the energy when your inhale reaches that peak before the clearing breath of the exhale. It’s the warmth of the other person, the closeness that’s shared. So close, sometimes you can feel the contours of their body against yours. The sighs, the words and sounds that follow the initial grasp as bodies fold into one. Eyes closed the world goes away. The moment IS all about the hug, the quiet healer. ~ CY